Wednesday, January 30, 2008


Hello fam fans,
Who is in for the Hotties Show on Thurs?
Dinner beforehand at one of the Indian places at 7.

There Will Be Wings

There is a football game happening this Sunday. Kickoff is set at 6:30.
Stop by my place for some wings, pizza, and beer.
225 West 12th Street, Apt. 3H.

Additionally, let's go drinking on Saturday night. Doc's? Kettle? (Someplace cheap).

Tuesday, January 29, 2008

Props to Omar

For landing the best pitcher in baseball for the bargain basement price of one toolsy CF with no plate discipline, two potential #4 starters, and an 18 year old kid.

Lastings who?

All over Barcelona!

Hello everyone - I just wanted to let you all know that I have started a blog based on my adventures here in Barcelona. So, feel free to go to
and also feel free to leave comments (and click on ads, heh).
Love and miss you all - Mysteria

More coverage of the Golden Girls

The Golden Girls wreaked havoc at this year's Idiotarod.
They proudly represented "THE FAM!"

You go girls!

Shower With The Golden Girls

A picture of the shower from team Golden Shower Girls, courtesy of Fishbach.

Monday, January 28, 2008

Idiotarod 2008: The Golden Shower Girls

Thank you for being a friend.
Travel down the road and back again.
Your heart is true, you're a pal and a confidant.

And if you threw a party,
Invited everyone you knew,
You would see the biggest gift would be from me,
And the card attached would say
Thank you for being a friend!

In the words of our competitors:

- I heard a lot of people complaining about the same team: golden shower girls. A few people were pretty sure that they were disaster vagina last year. I heard TONS of complaints about them last year. Jerks are like rotten eggs... it only takes one to spoil the lot.

- as far as "jerks" go, no one was even being a jerk, the golden shower girls were really friendly guys who were just trying to have as much fun as anyone else. if the race becomes somewhat like a foodfight, then that is the decision of the idiots running the race.

- the golden shower girls were dicks. one dude grabbed a bottle at the last checkpoint and was threatening people with it, all because he had his flag taken. A FUCKING BOTTLE. Fuck those guys.


The " Awful Wedding Dress Party" turned out better than I had thought. Some highlights:

* One JJ8er dropping a massively large dump that caused people to clear the hallway and the kitchen and move to the living room. That is when the party REALLY got started.
* One JJ8er who likes to woo the ladies in the most romantic way.. by sneaking them to the bathroom... with only one bathroom in the apt! Long lines but good conversation while waiting.
* One Hottie Galore saving the night by blasting bumping beats and retiring Adz's standard party mix.
* The wedding dress saves the day: The cop that came for a noise complaint did not do much after I told him it was my wedding party. Later that evening, an entire bar cheered for me and my big day!


Saturday, January 26, 2008

H$G Update!


Due to some nonsense with the theater, all shows are now at 8:30 PM, not 9:00.

Fun it up.

Thursday, January 24, 2008

F the NYT

I'm at a breaking point. I can't take it anymore. The time has come. I'm done with the New York Times. However, as "the newspaper of record" this is sort of like quitting heroin. So, I'm hoping JJ8 can help me. I'm looking for a reputable, fairly large scale news source. I don't care about celebrities, I don't care about $1000-a-night "europe on a bargain" vacations, I don't care about un-ironic stories about millionaires who feel poor, and I certainly don't care about the grotesquely transparent lobbying of Bill Kristol (and for the record, I'm all for them staffing another conservative, but write op-eds, not candidate endorsements/assassinations. I mean at least Bill Safire did some research and though critically. In a side note, why do papers endorse candidate. That always felt wildly inappropriate to me. I digress).

I was moving toward but it's trend toward intellectual shock & awe (watch me contradict conventional wisdom. I'm so independent!!!) and recent foray into IQ hereditarianism and race-based eugenics has, shall we say, led us to see other people. Salon has been interesting lately, and the BBC is ok, if classically dry.

JJ8-ers I need your help. The floor is yours.

Wednesday, January 23, 2008

Hottie$ Galore: The Final Chapter (?)

Hottie$ Galore cordially invites you to attend the premiere of our brand new sketch comedy show:

Hottie$ Galore Presents:


Here's the details:

Thursday, Friday, Saturday - January 31, February 1, February 2
@ 9pm
The Kraine Theater
85 East 4th St. (b/w 2nd & 3rd - under KGB Bar)
Tix: $10

To reserve tix, email:

You don't wanna miss this shit.

Tuesday, January 22, 2008

Anyone interested in seeing "Cassandra's Dream", Woody Allen's new flic, tonight? 

Landmark's Sunshine at 8 or 945

AMC E 19th st at 8 or 945 


I'm long overdue to spend some quality time with the blog. So I decided to invite it to curl up by the fire beside me and hear some tales about my adventures in the Orient. And so begins yet another LONG-RUNNING AND RECURRING blog feature: All Over Abroad, or, Things Witnessed During the Course of Various Journies.


We all know people who love to sleep. Gabi once had a wool-knit hat that had the words "Captain Sleep Team" sewn into it. In the last month, Julie fell asleep at 10:45PM on New Year's Eve while I danced on the bed she was sleeping in; during a parade of Kung-Fu performers happening three feet behind her; in a bar during the AFC title game. But there can only be one King of Sleep, and I'd like to think I found him, along the side of a highway in Istanbul, Turkey.

As the picture shows, this man was snoozing in the middle of the day on a six-inch strip of concrete along a busy three-lane highway. I mean, there are naps, and there are naps where you could very easily wake up dead. Why did he sleep on the strip and not on the infinitely safer sidewalk directly in front of him? Why sleep in the most uncomfortable and dangerous spot in sight? Because it was there. Sleep King, I salute you!


It would take many sessions of ALL OVER ABROAD to relate the adventures Gabi and I had in Egypt. But one especially memorable one was our trip down the Nile in a felucca (Egyptian sail boat), pictured below.What you say there is pretty much the entire boat. Gabi and I, the captain and his mate (pictured), and four other souls slept on those mattresses. As for our fellow travelers, there was an ultra-marathoner (the woman in the hat), who had just completed a 333 kilometer race across the Sahara; a man from Basel (small world!) on an extended spiritual journey--he'd also just completed an on-foot desert trek; and two Polish engineers on a Brokeback-style vacation away from their wives. One half of the Polish duo (Ennis, the other guy was clearly Jack Twist) is on the left.

Gabi and I thought we'd be on board for, like, eighteen hours total. That turned into about forty. There were some language issues. But sailing down the Nile was a really incredible experience, and for me, it was one of the highlights of the trip. It's just a really fascinating way to see Egypt. Plus, there were some drum circles and Gabi hit the guitar by candle-light. Good times.


Finally, China is a really awesome place. But, there is some pollution.

No, that isn't fog.

Until next time, True Believers!

Thursday, January 17, 2008

Tuesday, January 15, 2008

upper east side rant

york avenue in this neighborhood seems to create conditions for the 'perfect storm' of honking. immediate proximity to the FDR. tons and tons of cabbies. waaaaay too much entitlement. people driving around thinking about how much money they have since they don't need to be earning it at a job. ambulances. small-dogs darting over through traffic. an abnormally high meat-head quotient. fuckin' a.

which leads me to the point i would like to make:
motorists of york ave., will you please, please, please SHUT THE FUCK UP!!!!!
it's crazy, i tell you. absolutely brain-melting, homicide-inducing crazy. i long to throw rocks through cabby's windshields, or my overpriced coffee cup through the open windows of the SUV-driving hordes. my anger at these fuck heads is matched only by my shock at the revenge fantasies my normally peace-loving brain is coming up with. what the fuck man!??! arrrrrrrggghhhhh!!!

j rocket

p.s. stay tuned for the next installment: "neighbor's dog, will you please stop your yapping and shut the fuck up!!"

Monday, January 14, 2008


HI family,

Come party with me this weekend!!


Put your pirate gear on and come to the Bootie Party!! I want to show up at around 11:30ish. Would like to pre party on the cheap! Any ideas?

Friday, January 18th
@ The Vault (at Element)
** RSVP if you might want to go.

Hideous wedding outfit party! Come drink with me in awful wedding garb (interpret it as you want, wear what you want). Sat., my place... 9ish. Who can make it??

Ill be there tonight Josh. HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

Sunday, January 13, 2008

Celebrate! Birthday! Tomorrow! Please!

Tomorrow is my birthday. For the occasion, a butterfly in Africa has arranged for snow! All I ask is that you arrange yourselves for debauchery. Where? The Old Town Bar. When?? Tomorrow night, at 8:00. Let's party (hardy)!

[Note that I would have blogged posted sooner, but the Chinese government decided that our content is too subversive for the general populace. Kudos to us!!!]

Friday, January 11, 2008

Walmart's Genius

So someone in my office sent this to me. They had the following conversation with someone at WalMart.

Customer: Our co-worker is leaving the company. We wanted to get her a cake.
Attendant: Sure, what do you want on it?
Customer: Um, how about just Best Wishes Suzanne, and then underneath that, We will miss you
Attendant: Sure thing.

This is what they received. Particularly enjoyable is the spelling of the words "Under Neat."

Thursday, January 10, 2008

Annual No Pants Day

In my dream world I would never have to wear pants. But we do not live in this world. Still, some group does have an annual "no pants day" which happens to be this weekend. I will be in DC this so can't participate but it does sound fun fun fun and it can be the accompaniment of "no shirt bar night".

Friday, January 4, 2008

Traversing the Country has NEVER Been so FUN!

Hello JJ8ers,

Let me tell you a little story.

Some of you may know that I took a few days out of my NM trip home to visit my grandmother in San Francisco. She was in the hospital for a while after Thanksgiving, so my dad and I wanted to make sure that she was being taken care of adequately by her new live-in nurse, and that she wasn't going to drive this poor creature to madness. You see, the great tradition of insanity has been handed down, generation to generation, and a sharp tongue never dies, even when it is lodged in a nearly 90yr old 80lb 5 foot sized body.

Anyway, Eleanor was feisty and fine, and our worries were eased by the strong, brave, and bright Tonkinese woman taking care of her.

However, a ginormous (yes it is now in the dictionary) storm decided that no good deed shall go unpunished.

As stated in The New York Times, anyone traveling in this storm is "foolhardy."

My dad and I woke up to a dark apartment this morning, all the electricity was out. Somehow, during the night, we had been submerged in water, had we floated down the hill into the bay? What was that terrible shrieking noise? Oh, just your typical San Francisco hurricane. Nothing to see here, certainly not downed fences, guardrails, trees, tractor trailers....

Our little plane was only delayed 2hrs. We only sat on the runway for an hour. Every plane taking off was invisible, immersed in a cloud of jet blown rain water. Then, our tiny commuter jet braved the winds, fun! Like being tied to a jackhammer, twenty thousand feet in the sky!

And so, I missed my flight to New York. I thought I would never make it to my own going away party. All my hopes hinged on begging the mercy of the Continental airlines ticket monkeys. However, the ticket counter is closed from the hours of 4pm to 8pm. After waiting a few hours, one of the monkeys appeared, a particularly hideous one with a nearly human mullet, chunks of blonde tufts on top of her head, and long straight straggly strands down the back of her neck. I thought, "Cassie, you should never judge a monkey by its mullet." So I approached her slowly with a big, kind, friendly smile on my face. She listened to my tale of woe, her little eyes almost closing, and then said that I would need to pay $247 additional to get on the plane. What a lot of bananas!

So, I did what any proud American should do, I called customer service and cried. I still ended up paying $100, but I had the thrill of ignoring the monkey as she scratched her armpits and licked her computer screen, and screeched, "did they tell you anything different?" I simply handed her my bag (my dad making sure that she put the tag on and didn't throw it into the jungle heap) and walked away.

So, now I am here in the Albuquerque Sunport (yes, not Airport). The bar closed at 9pm. It feels like 3am. I am one margarita and two martinis to the wind. And my flight doesn't leave for another hour. Just thought I would share this with you all. I get into Newark at 5am. Joy!

See you all in a few hours at Pacific Standard!


P.S. A little multi-media presentation follows, just for you!

Kokopelli, the humpbacked flute player:

Frank Frost, family photographer:

the tumbleweeds are moving too quickly for you to see them:

and my waterbottle is eating my face.

Are you talking to US?

Barcelona or Bust!!!

**I'm going to make it!!! Due to earlier complaints lodged by an esteemed member of this blog, I have changed the picture. This photo was taken in the lovely neon of Albuquerque International Sunport. Please see blog entry to follow.**

Oh, also, Anzu is turning one! So bring puppy treats or toys (plastic bottles, stuffed animals, fingers&toes, kitty $#!@, etc).

Pacific Standard:
Saturday, Jan 5th at 9pm.

Thursday, January 3, 2008

White Rabbits in a Nokia commercial thing


thanks to excel and the minus 200 degree temperature outside, i present to you
the year in blog:

+ Total posts: 316
+ Total published posts: 283
+ Busiest month: May (35 posts)
+ Slowest month: November (16)

+ Most Posts: Chaucer – 30*
* although Da Oracle and The Prophecy combined actually posted 34 times.
+ Least Posts (among active bloggers): 3 way tie between Athas, Bootleg and JulesB
+ Number of comments made: 555

+ Most commented-on post: “Why” by R. Missle (25 comments, in which readers debate the Mets, bowling, mozzerela sticks, and a kid named Kenneth).
+ Most commented-on blogger: Chaucer (169 comments)
+ Unpublished posts: 33
+ Posts about the White Rabbits: 15
+ Blog posts about the blog: 15 (not including this one)
+ Longest post: pretty much a tie between "Story of a Splinter" and part IV of the candy series

well this could go on ad nauseum but i guess we wouldn't feel so good then.

Wednesday, January 2, 2008

New Year's Eve photos

Ok, kids, here are the pics . Jon's drunken portrait series toward the end is particularly brilliant.
I want to thank everyone for coming to my party.  You really made it a fabulous one!  I hope you all have a great new year.

Happy Birthday, Blog!

A year ago today, the blog was born.

Tuesday, January 1, 2008