Wednesday, October 31, 2007

Ninjas are cool.

And by cool, I mean totally freaking sweet.



Happy Halloween Everyone!! My favorite time of year is coming to and end with bday parties, the start of fall and tonight, the zombie finale!

The bday party was a hit! Here is the working link for more pics:

Hope everyone can make it tonight to watch Joe, me and Nad perform Thriller. Should be a lot of fun. If anyone wants to walk in the parade with us, we are at Ghost 2, towards the beginning of the parade.

Monday, October 22, 2007

Quantum Leap

In a strange bending of the space-time continuum, the book I would have written after finishing B-School seems to already exist.

Whether I have Marty McFly to blame for this, or some differently aged version of myself, who knows. Whatever happened, you can purchase the book here:

...and all proceeds go to my favorite charity (which I haven't decided on yet because I was going to wait until after I had written the book).

Some random blog postings I want to see:

  • Schwizza's review of RATATOUILLE
  • Raju's fashion report, featuring pictures and analysis--both of people he knows and men/women on the street
  • The Red Rocket Report with Solomon Prophete--what are the pugs eating, drinking, humping, etc.
  • Proof of Life--pictures of Amina or Doug Dunlap or somebody with a copy of a recent newspaper
  • And finally, Christy, I want regular recap/reactions to Gossip Girl.

Friday, October 19, 2007

McGuffie Hurdles Shugarts

Sam McGuffie

I don't want to turn this into a sports blog but this is amazing. And he's heading to michigan.

Watson Update

Okay, One more. This guy is like the gift that keeps on giving:

"Watson has a history of provocative statements about social implications of science. But several friends said Thursday he's no racist. Watson is no stranger to making waves with his scientific views. In 2000, in a speech at the University of California, Berkeley, he suggested that sex drive is related to skin color. "That's why you have Latin lovers," he said, according to people who attended. "You've never heard of an English lover. Only an English patient."

To quote Chris Rock "What do have to do these days to be a racist? Shoot Medger Evers?!"

Thursday, October 18, 2007

God Bless America

Sorry to hijack the blog with random links today. But these have been important. (Maybe not as important as racism, Gabi, but they are still required viewing).

I'm posting this link only partly to shift the blog conversation away from the Red Sox.

I'm mostly posting it because it is amazing.

The best bit is the end where they say, "Many customers are buying one for EACH side of the bed."

Watson and Crap

World class schmuck James Watson confirms that even Nobel Laureates in genetics can know remarkably little about people.

read about a big tool here

Creative Blogging

Back in the USNY

Just to let the world know: Julie and I will be back in the NYC next week. She gets back the weekend before Halloween, I get back the day before Halloween, and we'll both be around through the following Sunday, when she runs the New York City Marathon! I look forward to seeing everyone, often--

Gossip Josh

Wednesday, October 17, 2007

My Manny Theory

There seems to be all this mystery around Manny Ramirez's personality—to such a degree that some feel his behavior can only be captured via tautology: Manny being Manny. However, I think Manny told us everything we needed to know about him when he used Afroman's "Because I Got High" as his batting music. I think Manny's just a pothead. He gets high before batting practice, he gets high on off-days, he sneaks into the Monster to get high during the seventh-inning stretch. In this context, everything he does makes total sense. He's oblivious to everything that's happening around him yet he always seems cool with it, even when he's complaining. He shows up late a lot. He says things that only make sense to him. He has dreads.

But the ultimate Manny Being High moment came in last night's BOS-CLE game, when he hit a solo home run to put his team behind by four runs—and dropped his bat and threw his arms up in victory. Again, score after the home run: 7-3, Cleveland. But Manny only did what everyone does when they're high and they make a great ping-pong shot, or score a long TD in Madden: throw down your paddle, or Xbox controller, or—in Manny's case—bat, and throw up your arms in celebration. I've probably done this a thousand times, most recently after beating Stephen Fischbach at Buck Hunter at Doc's. It doesn't matter that the achievement has no larger significance—you have to let the world know what you just did. Yeah, Manny's home run didn't change the result of the game—but he just hit a home run! After two other guys hit home runs! Yes!!!

Tuesday, October 16, 2007

Monday, October 15, 2007

Blog Blog Bloggity Blog Blog

I'm sitting in Accounting class right now, bored out of my mind. By spending my entire weekend driving around and watching sports (2 games at Fenway, Pats game on TV at parents house, UMass football game from engineering booth of WMUA), I'm behind on my work. I should probably have skipped this class to do work, but accounting is so crazy and new to me, that I'm afraid of missing something important. Whether I've learned anything just now while blogging, who can say? The professor is not such a great teacher...he can, however, be entertaining to watch. He's a bit too much for me to handle, but if he were ever to scream the word "Inconceivable", there would be an absolute riot, that's how much he looks and sounds like the guy from the Princess Bride.

Speaking of The Princess Bride, I remember when I was young and the phrase "princess bride" didn't make sense to me at all. So I decided that it must be "The Prince's Bride", and everyone was just pronouncing it wrong. It wasn't until not that long ago that I realized that it was, in fact, "The Princess Bride". I still think my version makes more sense. She doesn't become a princess unless she marries the prince, so as a bride, she's not a princess until the marriage is consummated by the wedding, which it never is. So WTF? Can people please think about what they're doing when they title a movie?

Sunday, October 14, 2007

More Sunday/Monday Reading

Don't need much context, quotation excerpted from New Yorker interview:

As for the novelist’s animus against biography—there is none. The animus is against the kind of biography Zuckerman believes Kliman to be writing, and his assessment is grounded in what he judges to be the highly dubious evidence that Kliman presents of Lonoff ’s “secret history.” It would be as wrongheaded to read into the presentation of Kliman an attack on the genre of biography as to read, say, my presentation of Portnoy as an attack on the practice of masturbation. I count myself a friend of both.

This one's for Tough Love

Tough Love,
Please one-up The Ethicist and put the bama-sauce "Mike" in his place.

Yours desperately,
Miss Tuffet Owt

I recently discovered that my ex-roommate had been working as a prostitute and sometimes paid me the rent with money earned that way. I want to return her money because I don’t think anyone should have to do such work. She refuses to take it, saying her work is none of my business. Must I accept (and keep) rent money regardless of its source? — Mike, New York

Friday, October 12, 2007

A sad week for the blog...

This is really a comment in response to the horse names, and specifically Ben's response, but seeing as the old blog has been ignored this week...

The Danes actually restrict baby names . That's pretty crazy.

that is all.

Tuesday, October 9, 2007

Zombie or Die

Join the undead with Joe, Adz, Josh(?), Katie(?) and I as zombie MJ thriller dancers at the parade. LURCH into your future by:

1. Joining the listerv for updates and stuff at

2. Coming to at least 2 practices
Thursday 10/25 8pm-9:30
Sunday 10/28 4:45-5:45 then to the park on Stanton and Chrystie (around the corner)
Tuesday 10/30 8-9 then to the park on Stanton and Chrystie (around the corner)
Wednesday 10/31: PARADE

Location: University Settlement/ YMCA below Whole Foods
273 Bowery, on the corner of Bowery and Houston.

Monday, October 8, 2007

Funny or Die

You don't gotta watch 'em, but you do gotta vote Funny.

Thursday, October 4, 2007

OHNY: the tour


-meet for dim sum brunch @ 10:30 am:
The Golden Unicorn @ 18 e broadway

-proceed to touring, see below for my recommended sites which create a nice little path, but we can discuss over brunch....

Please leave a comment to let me know who's coming for brunch!!

ps --
special guest appearance by Doug Dunlap!

The Voice of the Minutemen

During this friday's 5:30pm newscast on WMUA, the UMass radio station that can be found broadcasting to the Pioneer Valley at the 91.1 frequency or streaming on the internet at, your's truly will be providing the sports cast.

I have no idea when during the broadcast the sports report comes, nor do I know how long I'll be on. Considering that I've received exactly zero training or instruction, my guess is somewhere in the realm of 30 seconds. But if anyone feels like listening to my shakey first time radio voice, you should tune in.

Also, following that broadcast, I will be hopping in the car to head down to NYC. Cara is having a party for her birthday at my old apartment friday night, so everyone should come and celebrate. See you all soon.

Wednesday, October 3, 2007

Uncle G

So i became an uncle today. Check out the hair on that kid! Elena Rose Marquez. More hair than all the men in her family combined. She's off the chain man!

Tuesday, October 2, 2007

Letter to the Editor

Somebody tell Verlyn Klinkenborg to stick to his I'm a modern day Thoreau routine who, unlike you overstimulated and underfulfilled readers of the New York Times, has time to appreciate a fucking leaf falling off a tree.

Today's op-ed reads like a Hallmark card full of feces:

So the world is a complicated place, and in our own lives — if you allow yourself to love or hope at all (Jesus, spread it on a bit thicker Verlyn) — we are going to have real chances to grieve for things that will make this loss feel like nothing.

But right now it feels like something (thanks). Life’s true griefs will eventually make you tougher, more understanding, more tolerant, more compassionate. If you let them, they’ll teach the proportions of human happiness (thanks again). Perhaps that’s the real beauty of sporting grief, even after a season like the Mets just had. It doesn’t ask you to grow as a human being (VK, eat a heirloom dick).


Time to make 'em say UHHHHH, Master P-style. More of the wreckage of Cary Tennis' nice-advice column, retrofitted with wisdom the way it's meant to be delivered: TOUGHLY.

Dear Tough Love,

I am 20 years old, go to a state university, and am severely confused on what I want to do in life. Toward the lag end of high school, I got interested in becoming a doctor. It wasn't out of some desire I had to cure the world or make lots of money. It was because of my parents. In their minds, the best thing to be is a professional, especially a doctor. So I enrolled in pre-med in college.

Then, my sophomore year, last year, I fell apart. I took physics and organic chemistry. I was doing terribly in both. It was during this semester that I would get these sort of panic attacks. I would just cry and cry when thinking about how badly I was doing in life, in organic, in everything. Then, the spring semester began. I took the second part of organic. I failed the class with an F.

So now I don't know what to do. I'm signed up for organic again this semester, with the same professor I failed with. I'm already freaking out about it. I want to study abroad and travel and do the Peace Corps and help people. But I need to make a decision.

Help me, Tough Love!

Typical Confused College Student

Dear Typical,

It's always surprising how stupid people can be. You're failing orgo, you get panic attacks, you don't even want to be a doctor in the first place, and you're confused? The only thing confusing here is what an idiot you're being, wasting your time preparing for a job you don't want and wouldn't be good at.

I'm sure you feel guilty disappointing your parents. But think of the guilt when you kill someone else's parent by administering too much codeine, or the bitterness as you finish off your latest sixty hour shift during residency while maintaining a tidy $250,000 med school debt. What will Mom and Dad say then? Nothing, because you'll have stopped talking to them, blaming them for your own terrible life choices. Drop orgo, take a bunch of fluffy English classes you can't get worse than a B-minus in, and sell your textbooks for weed money.

-Tough Love

Dear Tough Love,

I am a twenty-six year old single woman and I am a workout-aholic. I go to the gym every day, and sometimes even twice a day. I run, I do pilates and I do weight training. I know it isn't healthy, and the truth is I don't really like working out. I am obsessed with marriage, and I am afraid that if I "let myself go" (I mean, stop working out) I will gain weight and won't be able to attract anyone. I know this behavior is crazy but I don't know how to stop.

Tough Love, save me!

Crunch Crazy

Dear Crunch,

Your email looks a little fat. Maybe you should head to the gym. Just kidding—really!! I'm making fun of you because you've already admitted to being crazy, so I don't really have an opener. But for the record, yes, you're crazy. Behold exhibit A:

You're never going to look better than that, and as I understand it, she got dumped by the dude who plays The Human Torch in Fantastic Four. So you can go to the gym all you want, but it in the end it can't guarantee you won't get dumped like the rest of us sane people. So live healthy, eat right, blah blah blah, but don't think doing just five more crunches will be the difference between happiness and a life of lonely despair. Divide the time at the gym with activities where you have a chance of actually meeting potential partners, and not just other meathead gym rats like yourself.

-Tough Love

Tough Love can be yours! Email queries and receive guaranteed response! Now with significantly less vulgarity! Fuckin' a!