Thursday, March 27, 2008

ALSO.. should have posted these earlier


Good times were had by all as we ate, drank, ate, talked about proper Easter subjects, drank, and ate!

Thanks to Sol and Ash for hosting and to all for making family Easter amazing!!

Tuesday, March 25, 2008

a sad tale

it began in spring, 2006. the good folks of yuppy-slightly- hipster-y-italian family brooklyn were coming out of hibernation. flower bulbs poked their heads up through the ground. garbage - organic waste, mostly - was being produced. and a thought blossomed - what if we fed the vegetable peels to worms?

some were dubious. yet, as the leaves grew on the trees and the skin of those white, white brooklynites exposed itself to the warm sun, the worms thrived. potato. lettuce. mango. pepper. onion. they consumed and they excreted, and compost was to be had by all that wanted some.

fruit flies arrived. mcats were taken. a few worms escaped and the holes in the box were patched up. weather cooled. fruit flies left. worms ate. and reproduced. and reproduced. more garbage, more worms. worms were given away. beers were had. decisions were made. winter came and winter left, spring and summer. worms and associates moved to the upper east side.

and one day, like locusts descending upon the land of egypt, a scrouge. tiny bugs crawling all over the container. from where did they arrive? and what did they want? but pharoah's heart was hardened - and the radiator turned up its incessant heat. worms began to drop like the fruit flies that had once flown around them. until one day, the worms were gone, and bugs ruled the earth.

Monday, March 24, 2008


Every couple of weeks or so I flip through the personals in the London Review of Books. A comparison to the New York Review of Books personals makes a compelling case for moving to London.

There aren’t enough hours in the day for me to make love to all the women I want to make love to, so I’m going to start with you, nubile 21-year old choreographer and tantric masseuse, preferably French or able to adopt a French accent or not talk at all. Must know how to spoon-feed. Man, 78.

Smooth Criminal

Friday, March 21, 2008

Spring Training 2008

To get an early taste of summer and the approaching baseball season, a select few JJ8 members were sent down to Port St. Lucie, Florida this past weekend.

There was baseball watching in the blazing sun...

There was baseball watching in the comfy shade...

Can't go to Florida without going to the beach...

But the baseball was infectious...

Athas and Raju further strengthened their relationship...

And further proof was generated that Athas should be the next President...

Good Times!

Lucy the LOLcat

funny pictures
moar funny pictures

Courtesy of Shatraw. So adorable!

Garfield Minus Garfield

Clicky the title-y, es funny-y.

Joe, driving directions for tonight are in the comments of the original post.

Tuesday, March 18, 2008


Say what you will about the candidates for president. But, this speech is the best of my adult lifetime on race. period. I've waited for a public figure to be this honest for about 14 years. I don't know if it wins any votes. I don't know if he's going to win. But this is on another level. Even Charles Murray (of the bell curve) was impressed.


Easter Brunch, further logistics

Ok, kids,

Here's whats on the menu so far:
Ash (and Sol) - A big ham & rolls, Fruit Salad, Quiches, plates, forks, etc
Christy - Juices, Champange, Daffodils
Adzy - bagels (prob 1-1/2 doz is good)
Ashley M-cheese grits
Dave - dessert
Ben-easter egg activities

I still need:
-Vodka (a couple people could grab this, pls)
-more champagne
-probably more alcohol
-cream cheese, bagel fixings
-more food

Sign up now, before you get volunteered for Ben's easter egg clean-up.


Are there two sweeter words in the English language?

To celebrate the arrival of new roommate Jenny Wickens, as well as our awesome new furniture (courtesy of Adam K's recently deceased Great Uncle), please join us this Friday in scenic Weehawken, NJ for assorted delights such as:

-The best view of the NYC skyline ever!
-Midnight strolls to the spot where Hamilton and Burr dueled!
-Smash Brothers and Wii Bowling to your heart's content!

Here's where:

1 46th St. Apt. 2
Party Time

Here's how:


1. Get yourself to 42nd and 8th
2. On the north side of 42nd, in front of the Burger King, there will be a bunch of buses. Get on one, and give the nice man $2
3. After about 10 min of driving, you will be on Boulevard East, with the aformentioned skyline to your right. Go through approximately 3 traffic lights and get off at Fulton St (85% of the time you can just wait for someone else on the bus to yell out "Fulton!" and then you'll know you're there)
4. Continue north on Boulevard East, past a playground on your left, until you see a building with a turquoise awning. If you pass an abandonded karaoke restaurant and/or an abandoned Exxon station, you're a bit too far. At the awning, turn left on 46th St.
5. Our house is the first on the left side of 46th. Go up front stairs, ring the middle bell on the mailboxes, and PARTAY!


1. Convince Athas to come and pile 14 people in his car.

Sorry for the late notice, but I'd love to see some of ya there.

Thursday, March 13, 2008

Revenge of the Jedi: Winners and Losers

I was out. I was done. I was golfing and skiing and watching poker videos on YouTube. I fought the urge to comment on Sol's pug tat, KTE's dramatic first non-White Rabbits post, even a Hong Kong-related post that didn't mention its distinctive aroma. But I stayed strong. I'd retired.

And then Client 9 went down in a blaze of whorey, Christy claimed a broken (by recent events!) Silda was hotter than "Kristen," and Gabi expressed sympathy for the world's most famous hoo-ah.

I couldn't take it anymore. You pulled me back in. Dave, get out your notepad and fire up the CIA World Factbook.

I'm back.

Now, let's break down the REAL winners and losers here:

ELLIOT SPITZER: HUGE LOSER. Yikes, what a loser. The only way this could have turned out worse would be if a consortium of Wall Street brokers killed "Kristen" while Elliot was passed out, made him think he did it, and then blackmailed him into doing their bidding all the way to the presidency. Don't get me wrong, prostitution is a victimless crime and all—unless, of course, you're married and have three daughters. At LEAST he was supposedly into "not safe" activities, but then we find out it was just sex without a condom. Yawn. So much for Elliot taping a plastic bag over his head ala David Duchovny in Full Frontal. Elliot, you've lost our respect as a governor, a husband, a father, and a John. Please slither back to corporate law.

SILDA: THE BIGGEST LOSER. Did you know she gave up a promising law career to support a political career sabotaged by her husband's taste for four thousand dollar hookers?? ? Control-Z, Control-Z! She's also assumed the mantle of "Woman Most Universally Pitied by Other Women," stealing the crown from a post-Angelinated Jennifer Aniston. I'll say this, too: there's a good chance she knew Elliot was into hookers. I mean, people have these understandings. And why else would she push for him to stay in office, other than that she'd reconciled herself to the whole thing years ago? But when they had that conversation, did she also agree to attend the ritualized humiliation-press conferences? And how does she explain that wrinkle to her daughters? I'm getting despressed just writing this. On the other hand, I'm also selling Team "Kristen" t-shirts on eBay.

"KRISTEN" (aka Ashley Youmans aka Ashley Alexandra Dupre): BIG WINNER. I'm sorry, I can't see this unfolding any other way than interview in People magazine, spread in Playboy, reality show on VH1 (tentatively titled "Looking for Client #10"). The fact that she still hasn't taken down her MySpace page is telling. She is going to ride this  can't-look-away-train-wreck of an opportunity right to D-list infamy. And if you think she wouldn't be the featured contestant on American Idol: Celebrity Edition in 2011, you've forgotten that Idol is on Fox. The one lock of this whole situation is that "Kristen" is going to be with us for a very, very long time.

THE NEW YORK TIMES: LOSER. How can the New York Times, the paper of record, extensively quote a prostitute's own MySpace page description of herself?

That's reporting!? This somehow signal's the death of serious media for me, or some kind of crossed-streams universe ending vortex. Anyway, the Times is starting to look like the Red Sox of the 20th century: forever snatching defeat from the jaws of victory. I mean, they broke this story! And they still find a way to look bad??

THE NEW YORK POST: WINNER. Their "Ho No!" easily trumps the Daily News' "Pay for Luv Guv."

EYES WIDE SHUT FIDELIO PARTIES: WINNER. At some point, governors, senators, and all the other elected officials are going to realize using the Internet and cell phones to pay for sex just isn't that secure anymore. That's when masked balls in Gothic castles at which interlopers are killed on the spot are going to make their big comeback. 

CHRISTIAN WIEDERHOLZ/COREY FELDMAN/ALL OF US: HUGE WINNERS. They're making a Lost Boys sequel. It doesn't have anything to do with Elliot Spitzer, but again: they're making a Lost Boys sequel.

Let's start stockpiling weed now. 

Easter Brunch

Family Brunch on Easter Sunday (next weekend: March 23) at our place --

Please bring food to share (let me know what're bringing pls).
Suggestions: Bagels & fixings, eggy things, Vodka, OJ, champagne, omlet fillings, muffins, any other brunch favorites.

Ben: you're in charge of any easter egg activities.
Josh: you're in charge of procuring eggs for the above.

So to Answer Your Question, Adz....

Spitzer's hooker is sort of hot in that generic Jersey girl wants to be a singer way. Not in a I'll risk the end of my political career, federal prosecution for trafficking, numerous diseases from "unsafe" behavior and lose my infinitely hotter, intelligent, wealthier wife kind of way. Although, to give her credit, she's in a bikini and hunching and still looks good.

Whether or not prostitution should be legal (consenting adults, stricter safety measures and std monitoring), it isn't. I think Silda should leave him and write a tell-all to go along with her alimony-- if he can afford $4300 hookers, he can pay for her new house(s) in the Hamptons (and the South of France). The least he can do is make large contributions to her charities and keep house when she goes back to her very successful career. Maybe she can run for Governor in 8 years.

Sunday, March 2, 2008

The Good Ole Red, White and Blue

Dearest JayJayAters,

Just wanted to let you all know, now that it's official: Josh and I will be making our glorious return to the U.S. of A. in September. Stay tuned for future announcements about a coming home party that will rival the debauchery of the going away bash.

Sweet dreams of the Gowanus in September --

Love to you all,