As many of you may not know, cat owning has become an increasingly competitive sport in the past ten years. Owners are under incredible pressure to post pictures on facebook, catbook, picasa and other photo sharing sites, of cats exhibiting incredible feats of power, size, and athletic prowess. In order to outdo their fellow cat owners, many are turning to the help of steroids to create ferocious felines capable of jumping over not only fences but entire houses and able to terrorize the neighborhood dogs while their owner gleefully cackles behind the video camera.
Some dedicated cat owners are spending up to $10,000 a month on the steroids needed to create their supercat. Please prepare yourself for the graphic images I present below.
The effects of domestic feline steroid doping (DFSD) have been felt across the world. In middle America, the mice population has boomed as bulging kitties turn toward worthier prey like deer, small children, and evangelical ministers who condemn homosexuality but secretly obtain the services of male prostitutes. In Egypt, the pressure to create larger and larger tombs for the mummifed remains of supercats has led to a severe labor shortage. In Japan, the beefcake kitties of proud owners have actually taken over the government.
These are some photos illustrating the effects DFSD, again, I warn you, they are extremely shocking.
If you would like to contribute to a noble organization working to halt DFSD, please send a donation to this paypal email address: ceo4@columbia.edu
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Tsk tsk, don't be so naive Cassie!
ReplyDeleteIf you read Kitten Prospectus regularly, as I do, you'll know that, despite the name, there's no statistical evidence linking CEDs (Cuteness Enhancing Drugs) to actual increased cuteness.
Free Purry Bonds!
This has made me happier than anything, possibly ever, in the history of the world.
ReplyDeleteThat is all.
investigative journalism at its best
ReplyDeleteFacebook, catbook, picasa, etc. should not be given a free pass here! They have ignored this troubling trend because of the increased traffic to their sites and the accompanying explosion in advertising revenue. They need to institute a testing policy for all cats whose pictures are posted on their sites.
ReplyDeleteThink of the young kittens that see these cats as role models!
Cassie, I love you.
ReplyDeleteMattie-O, you are correct. I spent several days catching up with all the past issues of Kitten Prospectus and feel terrible that I didn't include any of their valuable research and input in my post.
ReplyDeleteThe Natural, good point! I will volunteer to test kittens for steroid usage, and the cuddly factor too.
To Ash and The Contessa, I miss you both soooo much!