Wednesday, October 19, 2011

The $3,000 Gyro

Imagine if Con Ed, the Department of Sanitation, and the IRS went on strike.

4 comments:

  1. Holy shit. "38,000 dollar office curtains," "Employees who's sole job it is to record the arrival of documents in a ledger," "$750,000 a year for office space for 11 people." What the fuck is going on over there??? This is like reading about a shut-in or cat hoarder.

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  2. Yeah, except if the cat hoarder had 1 in every 5 cats in the country living in their house eating only fancy feast out of golden food bowls, using $38,000 scratching posts, while their litter boxes overflow, then realizing that they're spending way more than their yearly salary on cat stuff. So when they decide that it might make some sense to get rid of a few cats - hardly enough to actually make a difference, but maybe just enough that they'll be able to move from the sink to the refrigerator without stepping on a hairball - both for their own health and for the health of the cats, all the cats go from lazing around in piles of their own feces all day to full on hissing, claws out, bar the door from letting the owners in the house mode.

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  3. Come to think of it, this would be perfect for Chaucer's next screenplay: an animated allegory of the Greek financial crisis funded by Disney where the Greeks are represented by cats and the World Bank, IMF, etc are represented by ominously large humans. But because it's a Disney movie, it ultimately has to have a happy ending. So it would have to have a Ratatouille-esque storyline where an outcast but plucky visionary of a cat inspires all the other cats to develop some system where they leave the house and establish their own comfortable cat communities where they live as contributing members of cat society.

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  4. Joe, the title for your animated masterpiece: Fat Cats

    As for another animal movie that needs to be made, click the link: Samuel L. Jackson in the lead as sheriff:
    http://slatest.slate.com/posts/2011/10/19/zanesville_ohio_lions_tigers_exotic_animals_set_loose_from_muski.html

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