A Film by Sarah Palin
EXT. LEXINGTON – 1775 – NIGHT
A quiet evening in REAL AMERICA: A tree-lined street where hard-working folks are coming home after doing REAL WORK. Many men (and gals!) carry deer and elk on the backs of their
snowmachines horses. Married couples, as defined as a union between a man and a woman, sit on their porches reading to their children about the traditional values that define this exceptional nation.
Your EVERYDAY AMERICAN BOY (blonde, blue-eyed, healthy) looks up from gutting a salmon to ask a question to his ORDINARY AMERICAN MOTHER (Reese Witherspoon-type).
TYPICAL AMERICAN BOY
Mother, teacher says America might to go to war!
TRADITIONAL AMERICAN MOTHER
Well, Johnny, the
Democrat British government has gotten out of control, burdening us with Obamacare legislation the Stamp Act [??] we don't want and we can't afford. We might have to "take up arms" in order to rein in the out-of-control government and bring some common sense solutions back to Washington our nation's capital.
Suddenly, the PEACE of an evening spent at home with your loved ones is shattered by the thunderous HOOFBEATS of BRITISH TROOPS, who gallop down MAIN STREET, toppling over apple carts* and other small business ventures that really fuel our nation's economy when you think about it.
*-note visual metaphor
The British Overlord, GENERAL HUSSEIN (Eddie Murphy-type), surveys the townspeople, who are startled but MORE DETERMINED THAN EVER.
CAPTAIN BIDEN (Don Knotts-type)
Duh, yes my master, I mean, Captain Hussein?
Have we not been here for SEVEN YEARS???
Even I know that!
And yet these Americans are still TOO FREE. Don't they realize the GOVERNMENT knows what's best for them? Take their arms, give the women abortions, and burn their Bibles!
MANLY OFF-SCREEN VOICE
NOT ON MY WATCH!
The camera slams like a fact in the face of what some are now calling the lame stream media to reveal: PAUL REVERE (Ronald Reagan/Todd Palin-type) on his famous ride.
I'm here to WARN YOU, British troops, that you won't be takin' away our arms. RING THE BELLS!
Suddenly, all the ORDINARY FOLKS produce bells. Their clamor deafens the
government beurocrats who want to tell you how to live British soldiers.
Paul Revere rides around them in circles, firing those WARNING SHOTS in the air.
I'm warning you, British officials who live up there in
Washington London! We are gonna be secure and we are gonna be armed!
TYPICAL AMERICAN BOY
And are we gonna be free????