CAT RANTS! By Professor Edwin J. Cattington (the Third, my good man!)

cute cat kitten jpeg jpg kitty pics pix feline furry friend cuteness!

Greetings, humans!!! I, Professor Edwin J. Cattington, leading expert in humanology, have taken to the digital realm in order to share my insights and observations into your... peculiar species. Given that my life's ambition is to murder a human an infant by sitting on its face while it sleeps (a goal I share with all my kind, btw) be warned--I shall pull no punches!

*If five years ago someone had told you that one of the biggest political controversies in the US would be the "birther movement," would you have had any idea what they were talking about?

*Kanye West should interrupt Leslie Nielsen's funeral to be like, "Hey, Ron Santo died this week, too!"

*90% of domestic abuse happens on Cyber Monday. Seriously!

*If all the nations of the world had to pick one nation to kill the founder of Wikileaks, they'd obviously pick Russia. Putin would skip over framing him for a sex crime and go right to uranium-tipped umbrella poking.

*Lady Gaga can't be this generation's Madonna. Madonna was hot.

*Is anyone else bothered by the Jewfro that one sheriff on The Walking Dead has? Is that not distracting? How is that character not named Eli?

*The World Cup in Qatar is like having the World Cricket Championship on top of a mountain in West Virginia.

*David Pogue is one of those random people who it's going to really upsetting when he dies.

*A new Tron movie could only have been made after everyone collectively forgot how shitty Tron was.

*Reading the trending searches on Yahoo! Buzz is like staring into the brain of a really, really stupid person.