Friday, September 10, 2010

Texts from Last Night

(917) 1:48am: Thanks, assholes

(413) 9:12am: I am just glad you're alive

(917) I assume you mean sol. I wasn't in any danger of dying. He was. Cause I almost murdered him.

(413) Have pity on him. And Raju. What a slopfest... I am impressed you didn't murder all of us by now...

(917) I'll be stopping by later to vomit all over your apt.

(917) Also I would have murdered him if he didn't keep saying "don't kill me" so pathetically every time I threatened him last night.

(413) Oh Sol, oh humanity... I blame the waitress who made us order the "Wingding"

(413) I am really sorry about the mess. If it makes you feel better, I called Jon Ross at two AM, and then was too drunk to say anything
Posted by at

11 comments:

  1. Mattie-OSeptember 10, 2010 at 12:10 PM

    Josh, you were *really* adamant that I watch some Youtube video about Star Wars, although it wasn't why.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Mattie-OSeptember 10, 2010 at 12:11 PM

    Insert "clear" in previous post where needed.

    ReplyDelete
  3. The NaturalSeptember 10, 2010 at 2:01 PM

    I don't need any explanation for any of this except for someone to tell me what the wingding is.

    ReplyDelete
  4. The NaturalSeptember 10, 2010 at 2:22 PM

    Never mind. Just looked it up. Holy Wow! This all sounds about right now.

    ReplyDelete
  5. TheProphecySeptember 10, 2010 at 2:29 PM

    BTW, I'm still BROKEN and PATHETIC!

    Damaged Wallet
    Damaged Cell Phone
    Damaged Dress Pants/Shirt
    Soiled backpack (w/vomit)

    This is why I was so defeated as soon as the "WINGDING" was mentioned. I was foreshadowing my demise. Its pure evil...nothing good can become of unlimited wings, fries, and beer.

    ReplyDelete
  6. R MissleSeptember 10, 2010 at 2:48 PM

    we need to spin this blog off into a reality show. somebody get to work.

    ReplyDelete
  7. AshleySeptember 10, 2010 at 3:31 PM

    Add to list:
    angry wife

    ReplyDelete
  8. ChaucerSeptember 10, 2010 at 6:02 PM

    Wow, Matty, I completely forgot about talking to you about that Star Wars review... Another win for the wingding. I'd also like to issue a blanket apology to everyone I drunk dialed...

    I will say that despite the slop, last night spawned some pretty awesome follow-up media. Bring on the reality show!

    ReplyDelete
  9. ChaucerSeptember 10, 2010 at 6:09 PM

    Also, I love that "Completely Shattered" is pitching a perfect game right now.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Shaman FondlerSeptember 11, 2010 at 5:39 AM

    If you never been to the Wing Ding,
    Don't ever come to the Wing Ding,
    Cause you would never understand the Wing Ding,
    So STAY THE FUCK OUT OF THE WING DING!

    ps. Free WD to whoever can name the song where the above lines come from.

    pps. Offer above exchangeable in human discharge.

    ReplyDelete
  11. The NaturalSeptember 11, 2010 at 11:12 AM

    Naughty By Nature - Ghetto Bastard

    I believe you though, Treach Ioannou, and I think I may forgo my prize.

    ReplyDelete

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