y'all see these pyramids? well guess what, muthafuckas? the jews built them. that's right, we were slaves in egypt, and we dragged some big-ass rocks through the desert and piled them on top of each other so that the man - the egyptian man - could mummify and then bury his sorry ass in all his sorry glory (no offense to any modern day egyptians reading this blog). and you know what they used to hold those oversized triangles together? this shit:
yeah, you heard me, this mixture of apples, almonds, wine, cinnamon, sugar, dates, walnuts, ginger, raisins, and/or oranges are what's holding the pyramids of giza together. at least, that's what we were told in hebrew school. so the next time your ass is at a passover seder and you find yourself picking some gooey apple out of your teeth, remember that if not for us jews, the mummy would never have been made.
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More the point, without the Mummy there would be no Revenge of the Mummy: The Ride at Universal Studios, and without that, I'd have felt even more gypped by US than I already did.
ReplyDeleteChristy was right, we should have gone to Knotts Berry Farm.